“One day, I saw two roads.

One was broad, covered with sand and flowers, full of joy, music and all sorts of pleasures. People walked along it, dancing and enjoying themselves. They reached the end of the road without realizing it. And at the end of the road there was a horrible precipice; that is, the abyss of hell. The souls fell blindly into it; as they walked, so they fell. And their numbers were so great that it was impossible to count them. 

And I saw the other road, or rather, a path, for it was narrow and strewn with thorns and rocks; and the people who walked along it had tears in their eyes, and all kinds of suffering befell them. Some fell down upon the rocks, but stood up immediately and went on. At the end of the road there was a magnificent garden filled with all sorts of happiness, and all these souls entered there. At the very first instant they forgot all their sufferings.”

From the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska, a Polish Catholic religious sister and mystic. Throughout her life, Kowalska reported having visions of Jesus and conversations with him, which she noted in her diary, later published as The Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska: Divine Mercy in My Soul.

I recently returned from the funeral of my wife’s cousin in New Orleans, La. It seems like I’ve been to a lot of funerals of relatives and friends in the last year or so. It’s not too surprising as I’m no longer getting older, I’m officially in that group even I know as old. And so too are many of my friends and relatives. I’ve recently turned 74. They say the average life expectancy in the U.S. is 79 plus a few months and dropping–not that far off. And since I’m retired and have a little extra time on my hands, I’ve started to think more about what is next, that thing that is rapidly approaching, that thing we call death and those two roads.

Polls say that almost 17 percent of the U.S population believe there is no God (and that number is said to be increasing rapidly). And maybe they’re right, maybe there is no God and in the end, as we take our final breath, there will be nothing. Maybe we will just cease to exist—forever. And that would be good news for some, maybe a lot of people.

But by the same token, maybe God is real and all that stuff in the Bible and all that stuff they preach about in church is true. And if that’s true then it’s probably also true that each of us is, right this minute, on one of those two roads Saint Faustina saw in her vision, heading somewhere. And that the road we’re on, (and there are only two roads that exist), is taking us to where and how we will spend the timeless state following death that we call eternity.

But which of those two roads are we are on right now? And how do we change roads if we even want to?

I’ve found in my 74 years that I have a difficult time seeing myself as I truly am, if I bother to really look at myself at all. In the first place, I probably don’t want to see myself as I truly am and secondly, I don’t have the time to do it or at least don’t want to take the time to do it. I’m a good, moral person, I think I’m friendly and nice, I go to church every week, I help others, I tithe money to the church and give to charities and others less fortunate. Most often, I see myself as at least as good and probably somewhat better than a lot of others. It’s not so hard to see others faults, but it’s much more challenging to see my own (both Matthew and Luke talk about this problem). And so, it’s easy to see myself on the narrow path, the one that leads to heaven. I think most of us do—if we think about it at all. But I think many of us intentionally don’t think about death or our road at all.

The Bible is littered with warnings (below) from Jesus himself telling us how difficult it can be to get on this narrow path that leads to heaven, much less to stay on it.

Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” …For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. …For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. …And behold, a man came up to him, saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.” …Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. …Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. …And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” …Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. …For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few…

These words are not just meant to be warnings, but also guides showing us exactly what we need to be like and what we need to strive for. And yet, it is so easy for me at least, to believe that I pass, that I’m good to go, just as I am.

That is until I came across this warning in Matthew 7.The most frightening one for me in the entire bible.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, o ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name? Did we not drive out demons in your name? Did we not do mighty deeds in your name? Then I will declare to them solemnly, ‘I never knew you. Depart from me, you evildoers.” 

God put this warning in for people like me. He put it in to knock some sense into us. It’s for people who are confident they’re on the narrow path, people who believe they’re good just the way they are, people who believe being good and doing good things and going to church is enough—people who don’t see themselves as they truly are. 

But how can this be? 

Apparently it’s not enough to be a good, moral person, friendly, nice, go to church, help others, give of our money. It’s not even enough to do all the great God sounding things these people did. It’s not even enough to believe you are doing the will of the Father. It is about nothing we do on our own, no matter how great the things we might do in the name of God may seem to us and even the whole world. It is only about doing the Will of the Father.

The people on the first road are doing their will, no matter what they or others might believe. And when we look at the second road, the narrow path, the path of God’s Will, we see some of the reason why. “And I saw the other road, or rather, a path, for it was narrow and strewn with thorns and rocks; and the people who walked along it had tears in their eyes, and all kinds of suffering befell them. Some fell down upon the rocks, but stood up immediately and went on.”

When we surrender our will to God, this is where he leads us. No wonder there were so many on the first road. Who wants to give up his will for suffering, who wants trials who wants to carry a cross? And yet, Jesus says in the book of Matthew “Then Jesus told his disciples, if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?”

Why the cross?

Jesus uses our suffering, our trials, our crosses, the narrow path, to change us, to empty us of ourselves, to refashion us, to make us holy, to make us like him. He says that “we must be born again”. This is our goal, this is our only purpose in this world. It’s a choice. If we think we can sneak by without making a choice, we’re mistaken, we’re already on the “broad road covered with sand and flowers”. I think it’s not our go to choice to desire a cross but rather to flee from it, to pray, to even beg God to take it away. It’s hard to give God permission to do whatever he wants with us, because we know that whatever he chooses, it’s not going to be what we would choose. It’s even harder to not just accept and to suffer through our cross, but to embrace it and to thank him for them. And those who have been successful surrendering say it’s not easy at all. And it’s highly likely we’ll take back control and have to surrender again, and maybe again and again. The Saints say that God wants all of us on the narrow path, but that many of us won’t make it because at some point, we just say “No!”.

“In the 15th century, a German priest by the name of Thomas à Kempis wrote one of the most influential spiritual classics of all time, maybe second only to the Bible, The Imitation of Christ.

Below are some quotes from this book, where we are encouraged to embrace the cross and not flee from it.”

“Jesus has always many who love His heavenly kingdom, but few who bear His cross. He has many who desire consolation, but few who care for trial. He finds many to share His table, but few to take part in His fasting. All desire to be happy with Him; few wish to suffer anything for Him.Those, on the contrary, who love Him for His own sake and not for any comfort of their own, bless Him in all trial and anguish of heart as well as in the bliss of consolation. Even if He should never give them consolation, yet they would continue to praise Him and wish always to give Him thanks. What power there is in pure love for Jesus—love that is free from all self-interest and self-love! Why, then, do you fear to take up the cross when through it you can win a kingdom? In the cross is salvation, in the cross is life, in the cross is protection from enemies, in the cross is infusion of heavenly sweetness, in the cross is strength of mind, in the cross is joy of spirit, in the cross is highest virtue, in the cross is perfect holiness. There is no salvation of soul nor hope of everlasting life but in the cross.Take up your cross, therefore, and follow Jesus, and you shall enter eternal life. He Himself opened the way before you in carrying His cross, and upon it He died for you, that you, too, might take up your cross and long to die upon it. If you die with Him, you shall also live with Him, and if you share His suffering, you shall also share His glory.The cross, therefore, is always ready; it awaits you everywhere. No matter where you may go, you cannot escape it, for wherever you go you take yourself with you and shall always find yourself. Turn where you will—above, below, without, or within—you will find a cross in everything, and everywhere you must have patience if you would have peace within and merit an eternal crown.If you carry the cross willingly, it will carry and lead you to the desired goal where indeed there shall be no more suffering, but here there shall be. If you carry it unwillingly, you create a burden for yourself and increase the load, though still you have to bear it. If you cast away one cross, you will find another and perhaps a heavier one. Do you expect to escape what no mortal man can ever avoid?”

Philip Kosloski, aleteia.org

Our crosses come in many, many forms, usually not something we are expecting at all. Sometimes they’re hard to see how they’re meant for us when they are directed at someone else. But we need to say “Yes”. We need to make a choice because no choice is already a choice. The saints say that there can be a point after saying “No” or fleeing our crosses or not making a choice too many times that God will just stop and never try again. 

Make a choice–choose the narrow path. Tell God that from now on, it’s his will and not yours.

It will be hard at times but well worth it, for only the narrow path offers what the Bible calls Abundant Life, the Life that only comes through the cross and being one in Christ.