We know that the world (nature) is always evolving: rivers are formed, mountains and valleys are created and weather patterns are formed to name a few. The same can be said for all of us. I know that I am not the same person today than I did in my 20’s and 30’s, I think differently and have different perspectives on life and what is important and essential versus things that don’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things.

For example, I realize that I don’t do abstract very well, not in art or in language. I certainly do not do abstract very well in conversation. I am always looking for the details, the concrete, the specifics and not so much the “what ifs.” As some friends and family have reminded me, I need to guard against going too deep into the details, preventing me from seeing the bigger picture.

It is against this backdrop that I have been thinking about this word “faith.” It can mean different things to me based on what I am putting my faith in. There is faith in the physical reality of things: will the lights go on if I flip this switch, will the car start if I push the ignition button (turn the key in older models), will the refrigerator light go on when I open the door? Then there is faith in that which cannot be seen, touched, or physically experienced – faith in the supernatural, the divine, God. As it pertains to that which we cannot see, the spiritual, the divine God, faith can have different depths of meaning.

This word “faith” has been churning in my consciousness for a few months now – emphasis on churning. At first, I just tried to ignore it but it wouldn’t go away. I could empathize with Abraham – you want me to go where; with Moses – you want me to do what; with the prophets Isaiah and Jerimiah and finally with Jonah, who literally went in the opposite direction from which God told him to go.

From a spiritual perspective, it is not enough to simply say that you have faith since that can have many different meanings as mentioned above. In the parable of the sower (MT 13: 1-9) Jesus’ questions where our seed is sown: on the path, rocky ground, among the thorns or on rich soil. The seed is our faith: in the Word of God, the proclamation of the Kingdom and the belief that Jesus Christ is the promised one of God.

Paul tells us that “the word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart, for, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (RM 10: 8-9). Our Christian unity has been splintered in many different directions in trying to understand the meaning of these words from Paul. Some believe these words to mean that once you confess “Jesus is Lord” with your mouth you are always saved and that doing any form of works is not necessary. This would be a false understanding of what Paul is saying here as Paul also states in another part of Romans (2: 5-11) that “God will repay everyone according to his works: eternal life to those who seek glory, honor, and immortality through perseverance in good works…”

James questions us in his letter, “good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him (JA 2: 14)? Again, “Demonstrate your faith to me without works, and I will demonstrate my faith to you from my works… You see that faith was active along with his (Abraham) works, and faith was completed by the works” (JA 2: 18-22).

Regarding my faith, I kept hearing this question over and over in my mind; is your faith just that, yours, or is it from God. In other words, is my faith how I want to believe it, the way I want to understand it, the way it works best for me, or, is it the faith that God calls me to have. Is my faith that which just confessing it with my mouth is enough or is it a faith that calls me to go deeper. Is it a faith that is on rocky soil or in rich soil? When Jesus says “I am the living bread that came down from heaven; whoever eats this bread will live forever, and the bread that I will give is my flesh for the life of the world” (JN 6: 51), do I believe that he is speaking literally or metaphorically. Do I believe that Jesus at the Last Supper (Passover meal), when he says “Do this in memory of me,” gave Peter and the other apostles the power, through the Holy Spirit, to change the bread and the wine into His body and blood? Or do I believe whatever works for me to justify whether I even really need to go to Mass on Sunday or not, whether I need to receive the Bread and Wine in the Eucharist, whether I am worthy or not to receive the Eucharist, whether I ever need to go to confession.

On our recent trip to Poland, we visited the concentration camp at Auschwitz. It was, for me, a very disturbing experience, especially standing next to the gas chambers and the crematorium. However, as bad as they were, it was upon entering onto a courtyard from one of the buildings and having the tour guide direct our attention to a wooden wall at one end that really got my attention. It was the wall that they stood in front of when they were about to be executed. The sight of it went deep into the heart of my being, my soul. A very soul-searching question came to me. “Is my faith strong enough, deep enough that I could go to the wall for?” Did I have enough faith, did I trust God enough that I would cheerfully be willing to go to the wall for Him?

I am still pondering that question. I want to believe that I do but it is taking some serious soul-searching. It requires an honesty that I have never experienced before. It will be one of my Lenten meditations as I journey to the Cross of Jesus. I pray that I would be one who is standing at the foot of the cross and not have gone into hiding.

May the presence of Jesus Christ be informed in your mind, proclaimed from your mouth and penetrated into the heart of your soul.

And what’s a day without some music, so here’s a beautiful Flashmob rendition of, It’s a Miracle to lift your spirits.