Since I seem to have a lot of time to sit around and think while social distancing and staying home as much as possible, it has given me opportunities to reflect and meditate on my spiritual well-being.  More to the point, is my spirituality as healthy as it could or should be?  I thought it would be in my best interest to go back and look at the spirituality’s of some of the saints, (A good resource for me is Ralph Martin’s book: THE FULFILLMENT OF ALL DESIRE).  I spent some time with Saints Catherine of Siena, Francis, John of the Cross, Ignatius, Francis de Sales and Benedict. In the process I came away with a profound sense of underachieving, of not spending nearly enough time in growing my spiritual life.

Each time I visit the spiritual lives of the saints I seem to come away with a new thought or message.  This time it came from St. John of the Cross and St. Benedict.  While working with Teresa of Avila to reform the Carmelites, John would find himself being blindfolded and abducted by his own order and placed in solitary confinement.  Some of John’s supporters were dismayed by what was happening so John wrote to them to try to give them solace and comfort.  In the message that he wrote to them one sentence stood out for me: “… Think nothing else but that God ordains all, and where there is no love, put love, and you will draw out love.”  John goes on to say that when: “God did not find love in humanity; He put love there in the Incarnation of His Son. Then He found love, in His Son Jesus and in all who had become a part of His Body.”  John counsels us to go and do the same.

A very powerful message during this time of social isolation and stay-at-home orders that seems to be challenging my thinking, attitude and behavior.   Focusing on the negatives of this Pandemic experience was beginning to affect my attitude and subsequently my behavior.  I needed to “put love there” in order to “find love there.”  For example, instead of being frustrated over not being able to go to Mass and receiving the Eucharist, I could heed Cardinal Dolan’s words about how we can be “Eucharist” for each other in the Body of Christ, to be Christ’s love for each other. Instead of complaining about not being able to go out and eat at a restaurant or to a store, I could see the blessings in being given more alone time to – without distractions – focus on God calling me into a deeper relationship with Him.

Then I came across these words of wisdom from St. Benedict.  Benedict was a layperson, never being ordained a deacon or priest and no profession to a religious order.  He was a person, who in his youth, became disillusioned by the behavior of his friends and others around him.  This caused him to go up into the mountains to take on a hermitical life of prayer (oversimplified and shortened description).  His way of life began to attract others and he soon found himself once again being surrounded by those who also came searching for something more.  From this an order of Benedictine Monks was formed.  Benedict, while at his order, came up with a set of rules for living a conversion of one’s way of life.  Humility was one of the main virtues of Benedict’s spirituality and he delineated 12 degrees of humility by which the Monks were to adhere to.  While the rules were specific to the Monk’s way of life, I was drawn by the fact that they could be of help to me as well, especially to navigate through these trying times in which we are living.

Here are some of the rules that caught my attention:

1. Have the fear of God before one’s eyes at all times – doing what God wants.
2. Always submit to one’s superior inner obedience.
3. Obey in silence, even when the burden placed on you is hard and unjust.
4. Be satisfied with your conditions and circumstances.
5. Don’t do anything that isn’t spiritually ordered – serving your own plan and pride.
6. In speaking, do it calmly, gravely, reasonably and not to raise your voice.
7. Silence – be reluctant to speak just for the sake of speaking.

Benedict would say that “walking the road to heaven is always the way of walking in humility.”  I am finding it to be very important for me to keep this thought of humility before me while trying to live out this stressful period of life in separation from family, friends and faith community.  I have much work to do to live up to the spiritual lives of the saints.

I remember a saying that goes something like this, “if it wasn’t hard it wouldn’t be worth doing.”  I am not sure if I am in total alignment with that thought but I do get its meaning.  It brings to mind another saying that I heard (possibly from St. Catherine?), “God did not create us to be comfortable but to be comforters.”  I would do well to be more of a comforter at this time than spending all my time trying to be comfortable.

I pray that, in the silence of your isolation, you find the peace and joy that can only come from God’s unconditional, merciful love.  I pray that in your moments of aloneness and quiet you know that God’s presence is always with you.