Paul, the apostle to the gentiles, gave us his pedigree in Philippians 3:4b-6.  I too have a pedigree that I thought I could stand on.  I believe that I have faith, or at least I should since I am considered to be a “cradle Catholic” being baptized by my parents one week into my life. Starting with first grade my entire education has been in the Catholic school system, completing my formal education with a Master’s degree in Theology from St. Mary’s University in San Antonio, Texas.  I have worked in the Catholic Church for 30 plus years, first as a youth minister, then a director of religious education and finally as a director of adult faith formation.

For the first 27 years of my life I was of the understanding that just being a cradle Catholic was enough.  Growing up we lived across the street from the Catholic Church which meant that not only did we go to Mass every Sunday (did not have a Saturday vigil Mass at the time), my older brother and I would also take turns serving at 8:00 a.m. Mass every day during the week and for many years we served at all the special Masses (Easter, Christmas etc.).  It would seem that our whole family was immersed in our Catholic Faith.

I should pause here to say that my younger formative years were as a pre-Vatican II Catholic.  Mass was in Latin, which was OK since it was only important that I went to Mass, not that I needed to understand it. My religion classes consisted in memorizing the responses to questions from the Baltimore Catechism, which was used in the area at the time.  What more was needed to have a strong Catholic Faith?

I don’t remember being told, even once, during this period that I needed to have a personal relationship with God or Jesus Christ.  I can’t remember any of my religion classes being spent on talking about the Holy Spirit and why the Holy Spirit was vital to my faith and my salvation. Just go to confession every Saturday, Mass every Sunday, fast and abstain on the obligated days and try to live a good, clean – life, and I should be good to go.  Being obedient to the will of God was never part of the requirements as I recall.

I am not sure about the exact date or age (somewhere around 1980, age 33) I was asked to make a weekend retreat, a Christian Experience Weekend (CEW). Why I said no to this weekend, and repeated that same answer for the next 4 years, I am not sure.  At the time I thought that my faith was good enough so why did I need to make this retreat.

By the sixth time I was asked, I had run out of excuses.  I decided to just go ahead and spend the weekend at the retreat, get it over with and then others would quit asking.  My first take away from the retreat: I can’t tell you how many times I heard about the importance of having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  How important it was for my salvation to be open to the Holy Spirit, to let the Spirit into my life and to give my life, fully and completely to God.

Let me back up to my arrival at the retreat.  I was pretty stoic upon arrival on Friday night and nothing much changed for most of the day on Saturday.  Having said that, a strange thing began to happen when I placed myself in the presence of the Holy Spirit, He began to change me.  Listening to talk after talk, by fellow parishioners I knew and socialized with, about how the Holy Spirit had changed their lives and how they were seeking a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, began to get my attention.

Some time and somehow by the end of the retreat, late Sunday afternoon, I became aware that I did not own my faith.  It was given to me first by my parents when I was one week old.  It was given to me by my religion teachers all through school.  I did what I was supposed to do as a Catholic because I was told to do it.  My faith, like everything else I did in my life, from the food I ate, the language I spoke, the way I parented, I just did without thought or purpose. It was time to change, not only how I lived my life but what it was I believed in, my faith.  It was time that I took ownership of both.

Faith, it seems to be such a simple word, one that goes without question.  Webster’s dictionary defines faith: 1. Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea or thing. 2. Belief not based on logical proof or material evidence.  3. Belief and trust in God, 4. Religious conviction.

Modern Catholic theology follows along the definition of faith given by St. Thomas Aquinas: “the act of the intellect when it assents to divine truth under the influence of the will moved by God through Grace (11.111.q.2a.9)

In the New Testament, “believe” and “faith” translate the Greek word pistis.  The verb pisteuien means to trust, to accept as true.  In the Synoptic Gospels Jesus demands faith (Mt 9:28; Mk 4:36; Lk 8:25), praises faith (Mt 8:10; Lk 7:9), and declares that faith has saved (Mt 9:22; Mk 5:34; Lk 8:48).  In its most simple and general terms, it is an acceptance of Jesus Himself as being who and what he claims to be.  It is a trust and confidence which arise from faith, which in turn is an acceptance of a person and his claims.

Faith is a choice, a gift from God, a favor freely given, and by God’s Grace we freely choose.  In order for me to take ownership of my faith, I had to choose to do more than just recite a few rote prayers, show up for Mass on Sunday just out of obligation or be nice to others because it was the social thing to do.  To make that choice meant that I had to take ownership of my faith, of what it is that I believed in.

St. Jerome said that ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ.  I realized that I had very little knowledge of the Bible.  By that I mean that I don’t recall ever having held in my hands the actual books of the Bible much less know what was in it.  So my first act was to read it from beginning to end.  This in turn led me, by God’s Grace, to start studying the scriptures, to know and understand its teaching, to know Jesus Christ in a deeper way in order that I might begin to have a personal relationship with him.

I have retired from formally working on staff in a Parish but I have not retired from learning more about my faith.  I continue to call upon God’s Grace to help me go deeper into my faith, to have a deeper personal relationship with Jesus.  I strive, with the help of God’s Grace to become more holy as we are called to be by our Lord, to be obedient to His will by letting go of the things of this world.