“A sower went out to sow.  And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and birds came and ate it up.  Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil.  It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep, and when the sun rose it was scorched, and it withered for lack of roots.  Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew upand choked it.  But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit, a hundred or sixty or thirty fold.  Whoever has ears ought to hear.”  Mt 13:3-9

It has been difficult to hear about all of the abuse in our Church by priests, bishops and cardinals.  Adding to that the possible cover ups and non-actions by those who could have stopped it and or prevented it from continuing to happen.

I have personally experienced the range of emotions from anger, frustration, disappointment and rage over this great sin in our Church.  Yes, there were moments when I asked if this was the Church of which I wanted to be a part.  I have to say that I have given thought to walking away from it.  Having worked in Church ministry for the past 27 plus years, I have personally experienced unfair treatment and have witnessed it being done to other staff members.  Not to the scale that we are dealing with in the news currently, but still, being treated unfairly by those whom you feel you should be able to trust is difficult.

I don’t profess to know all the details of the abuse that has happened (and quite possibly still could be, God forbid) in our Church most recently from Dioceses in Philadelphia and other parts of the world wide Church.  What I do know is that God is now purifying the Church from all this evil, “For there is nothing hidden that will not become visible, and nothing secret that will not be known and come to light.” Lk 8:17

I could continue to go on and point out how the sins of humanity against humanity have been happening since the time of Sodom and Gomorrah, since the time of King Solomon, his son King Rehoboam and on to Kings Ahaz and Hezekia, all of whom took advantage of the people they were there to shepherd. From the prophet Ezekiel: “Therefore, shepherds, hear the word of the Lord… because my sheep became plunder, because my sheep became food for wild beasts, for lack of a shepherd, because my shepherds did not look after my sheep,… therefore, shepherds, hear the word of the Lord… I am coming against these shepherds.  I will take my sheep out of their hand…” EZ 34:7-13 God is a just God who will always protect his sheep.  “The lost I will search out, the strays I will bring back, the injured I will bind up, and the sick I will heal; but the sleek and the strong I will destroy.  I will shepherd them in judgment.” EZ 34:16 I must heed Jesus words: “Stop Judging, that you may not be judged.” MT 7:1

The purpose of this writing, however, is not to belabor the point of clerical abuse but how I choose to react (or act) to it. So I look to the quote above from Matthew to determine where exactly my seed has been planted.  Many years ago (in my late 20’s early 30’s) I would say that it was the seed that was sown on the path: “The seed sown on the path is the one who hears the word of the kingdom without understanding it, and the evil one comes and steals away what was sown in his heart.” Mt. 13:19  I had a faith but don’t ask me to explain it or try to defend it because I would not have been able to do so.  Because of that the world (devil) was doing a very good job of leading me down a path that wasn’t very healthy spiritually.

There was a time that I was disillusioned by the whole Church thing and I was looking for reasons to justify leaving, I found one and I started to drift away.  So I was also like the seed that was sown on rocky ground: “…he has no root and lasts only for a time.  When some tribulation or persecution comes… he immediately falls away.” MT 13:20-21  For anyone who would choose to leave the Church would have to consider that this might be where his/her seed was planted.  Again, if I am already frustrated with the Church or angry at the Church and am contemplating leaving, then any reason or excuse will do.

If my seed is sown on rich soil, has been watered and fertilized, even pruned when necessary, and is deeply rooted in my faith and beliefs, I know that I don’t walk away because of the sins of individuals in the Church, whether cleric or the person in the pew, because the individuals are not bigger than the Church that Jesus Himself said He was going to build (MT 16:18) To be deeply rooted one has to own their faith.  I came to that realization some 45 years ago.  I was not well planted and I surely wasn’t bearing much fruit.

I realize that if I make the choice to walk away, to leave the Church because of the clerical abuses, that I am condemning the whole Church for the sins of individual humans.  The original Greek word for church in Matthew 16 is ekklēsia, meaning, the community that Jesus will gather to himself: “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” MT 18:20  In walking away from the community because of sins from individuals in the community, I am in a way condemning the whole community.  Instead, I need to remain in the community, pray for spiritual guidance and strength to be an instrument of healing and forgiveness, to lift up those who are broken and hurting.  How many times must I forgive Peter askes the Lord, seven times?  “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” MT 18:21  Paul says that if I do not have love “I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.” 1 Cor 13:1  I choose to be an instrument of love and peace.