You’re probably thinking, “What a crazy question is that?” Of course I know why I pray. Prayer requests are sent to us very often, sometimes on a daily basis, from people needing our prayers. I pray for people to get well, good things to happen in my life and that my family stays well. I pray that my work is successful, and sometimes, I pray to give thanks should any of the above happen. Now, I know these are not the only reasons why we all pray, but I think they’re the top ones on most peoples lists. Still, I wonder whether I do have a prayer life or what does it mean to pray. There are days that I identify with the apostle Peter and think I have it all under control. Then next thing you know, I’m like Peter when he said he didn’t even know Jesus. “Woman, I do not know him.” (Luke 22: 57-58). Yes, just when I’m thinking my prayer life is going well, someone in a group asks me to pray aloud, just a short spontaneous prayer, and I shy away from that scenario. What would I say? Would it be the right thing and why am I praying?

In my much younger days, when I was attending Catholic grade school, I could recite all my rote prayers on demand and even quote several bible stories. I don’t think I really knew then why I was praying and reciting these stories other than our teachers told us to do so. I did realize that some of these prayers involved asking God for something and some of them also were asking for forgiveness. It was just part of the whole education at a Catholic school and I was succeeding in this part. I did get a little bit more of a hint about what was involved in prayer during my junior high days. When All Souls Day came around, we would all make visits to church and recite two Our Fathers, three Hail Mary’s and a Glory-Be. By doing so, this was going to release a new soul from purgatory into heaven for each visit made. Now, I could really get my mind around that type of praying. I was helping to get souls into heaven.

When I was a sophomore in high school, my prayer life got a real challenge when my father died. I still remember sitting in church on Sunday morning, as he died on Saturday night, and I heard the priest say, “We’d like to pray for the repose of the soul of Hugh Tracey, who died last night.” I remember thinking, pray for what? He can’t come back. Pray for his soul. Pray for his soul. Pray for the repose of his soul? Prayer seemed to hold no comfort that morning and answered none of my questions. So again, why pray?

When I reached college I found a very good reason to pray and it was called, bargaining prayer. “Okay God, if you let me pass this test I’ll go to daily mass for five days.” Or maybe it might be, “If I get an A on my test today, I’ll pray the rosary ten times.” Back in days of yore, there was a TV show called, Joan of Arcadia. A wonderful series about a young girl who saw and talked with God, who appeared to her in the form of different people. One day she asked this mysterious person in front of her if he He was really God, and He responded, yes, of course I am. I’m still waiting for you to make good your promise to attend daily mass for a month like you said you would if I let your brother survive the car accident. Bargaining prayer. The problem was that this type of prayer created a great deal of guilt when I didn’t fulfill my end of the bargain. This caused me to move away from God rather than closer. I was like a bad gambler. I owed God so much that I thought it was just best to sever the relationship.

Long after college, marriage and three children, I met one of our daughters teachers at the elementary school and we soon became very good friends. We would meet for coffee and several times a week we would walk together in the morning. During this time, I realized I saw something in her that I wanted in my own life. A loving relationship with God. Something I had avoided for a lot of years. I wasn’t sure anymore who God was in my life but I knew that God was no longer a God of bribery or bargaining!

Prayer, talking to God. But what would or should I say and why? To know God? Through my years of speech and drama education I learned the importantance of listening. I needed to start listening to God and the best place for that to happen, is in church. That was where I left God, so that’s where I needed to meet him again. I started going to mass at 6:30 in the morning on a daily basis. I began to know God through scripture, the daily readings and those bible stories I memorized as a child. I reflected on those readings during the day and began to realize that God was speaking to me, if only I’d listen.

After a few months of daily mass, I found myself going earlier to pray and just visit with God. I discovered during this time that I had a spiritual companion in my life and maybe we could travel the same road together. I realized in my listening that God was asking things of me. God was calling me to give more of myself to others. More than just a greeting at the sign of peace in church. Or a passing hello to someone on the sidewalk. God was calling me into an intimate relationship with Him. Prayer was beginning to influence my thinking, affecting my ideals and letting me see miracles in the midst of chaos. So again, why pray? To communicate with God. To be present to God. To feel God’s great love for me, in spite of all my failings.

Now during my prayer time I do ask God for things, (not bargaining), and there are times when I need forgiveness and ask to be forgiven. Then there are times when I just say, “Thank you God for today.” And many times I just pray to give glory and praise to my heavenly Father. Prayer also has this wonderful aspect of connecting ourselves to others. I began to see the gifts of people that God sent into my life. And then I realized that there are times when I am being sent to others. Awhile back I received a note from someone who wrote, “Thanks, God, for Marj.” I remember thinking that was an unusual note, but actually it’s probably the most powerful message one can send to another. To thank God for someone being sent into their life. Not just a skin-deep thanks but one that touches the very soul. A prayer of the richest kind.

Prayer doesn’t need to be complicated as God doesn’t look for perfection but rather sincerity. He hears and understands our simplest words: “I love you; God be with me; God forgive me; God I’m sorry.” Words that require faith, love, truth and a commitment to say. I began to realize how much the people around me were prayer for me and how they let me discover who God is to me. How they helped me deepen my relationship with God. There have been so many people showing me the many faces of God, helping me to pray, communicating with God. Now I know what prayer is to me….. communication with God, using words when necessary. Being at peace. Being one with the Father. Feeling God’s presence, feeling loved and letting that love flow out to others. Not being afraid to pray. To make prayer my first reaction to all things.

There are so many needs in our world today. Don’t waste another minute wondering what to say, when to say it or how to say it. Just pray. And let God do the rest. Amen.