I belong to a small faith sharing group that came together as a result of making a retreat called the Christian Experience Weekend.  We meet on the first and third Fridays of the month, at least when we are all here and not off traveling the country somewhere.  Simply put, we focus on three questions that comes from the CEW: How have I deepen my relationship with Christ, What have I done to better understand the gifts that God has given me and how do I see myself proclaiming God’s Kingdom in the future.

At our last time together, one of the participants, in their sharing, talked about someone having a “crush proof faith.”  That statement, or claim, has really grabbed my attention in the time since we last met.  I found myself pondering on what that statement really means.  Then, more to the point, asking myself a question, is my faith crush proof?  If it is meant by “crush proof” to be impervious to any outside source that might try to destroy it, then I would most likely state that I do not have a “crush proof” faith as my faith is bombarded constantly from worldly pressures, prejudices, biases and agendas.  I don’t think, however, that this is what is meant by a “crush proof faith.”

When I go back and read the lives of the saints – Padre Pio, Mother Teresa, Bernadette, St. Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross – to name a few, I am alerted to the fact that they all suffered many trials on their spiritual journeys to Christ.  Their faith wasn’t “crush proof” because they were protected from the onslaught of the devil, or safeguarded from being bombarded from the pressures of worldly things.  Their faith was “crush proof” because they walked in the way of the Lord, never letting Him out of their sight or thoughts.  When beaten down, by the Grace of God, they got back up.  For me, that is the essence of a “crush proof” faith.

There was a time in my late 20’s to early 30’s that I started listening to the wrong voices, those of the world and not of God.  I heard the arguments against the value of an institutional church.  I listened to the voices that decried the sins of the clerics and the hypocrisy of the institutional church.  The voice that told me that I was capable of making my own decisions about what was right and what was wrong.  I heard the voices that suggested that one could not rely on the Bible because it could not have happened the way it was presented.  To be honest, my faith was in such a state of flux that I was more than ready to listen to all the voices telling me to get out while I still could.  I was looking forward to sleeping in on Sunday morning instead of getting up to go to Mass, especially since I didn’t feel it was doing anything for me.  So, that brings me back to the question of a “crush proof faith.”

There might have been a time when I would have said, yes, my faith was crushed.  I could not find God anywhere; I was in a very dry desert.  I began to doubt the existence of God.  Then I discovered that I wasn’t alone in this empty way of feeling and thinking.  Some very prominent saints also struggled with doubt: Saint Jane Frances de Chantal, Saint Paul of the Cross, Saint Therese of Lisieux and most recently, Saint Teresa of Calcutta (Mother Teresa).

A “crush proof” faith is not one that is exempt from outside sources but one that survives in spite of them.  In Lk 7:36-50, we hear and see Jesus being anointed by a woman who had many sins.  Her life, in the cultural context that she lived in, was all about destroying her.  Even Simon the Pharisee questioned Jesus for allowing her to be in His presence. The world that she lived in would cast her aside, but her faith in Jesus would save her: “He said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven… Your faith has saved you; go in peace.’”  Her faith was “crush proof” because she believed that Jesus could save her, that Jesus was the Messiah, the Son of God.  It was by God’s unlimited mercy and Grace that she found the courage to enter into the home of Simon to give her whole life to Jesus, and to be forgiven for her sins.  It was by the Grace of God that her faith was “crush proof.”

What makes my faith “crush proof?” I can now state it as such: God’s Grace and the presence of the Holy Spirit.  It isn’t that my faith will not be challenged or called into question by a world that wants to live in its relative truth.  It is when I recognize that by the Grace of God I am able to get back up after falling.  I can be forgiven for failing to put my trust in the objective truth that comes from God.  In my doubting, I find my faith getting stronger, just as it did for the saints mentioned above.  A “crush proof” faith is one that recognizes that we can never do it all alone in this world. We always need to continue to get closer to God.  When we are in that desert of emptiness, we need to continue to trust that God’s Grace is with us.  For as God tells us, it is in our brokenness that we are made strong:

“Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated.  Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”  I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.  Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2COR 12:7-10